9 O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off.
12 Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
and meditate treachery all day long.
Psalm 38:9–12
David is standing in the dock before YHWH. He has recognized his sin and its harm to body and soul. As a man after God’s own heart, David grieves over his sin not simply his affliction. He is contrite and has made good confession without excuse, conditions, or bargaining.
David now opens his petition. In these verses David appeals to the One who is all-knowing by first stating how utterly alone and vulnerable he is.
YHWH knows David’s Plight (v 9)
Longing is the intense expression of a desire unfilled over an extended period. David is longing for his health and for restoration of his relationship with YHWH. David, elsewhere, describes his longing as a thirsty deer panting for water:
As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
Ps 42:1-2
David cannot regain his health and vigor until he is in a right relationship with YHWH. That relationship has been disrupted by sin and only YHWH can restore it by graciously forgiving his servant. It is not that God has forsaken and abandoned David. It is God’s immediate and perceptible presence that David longs for. When God called Abram, he said “I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless” (Ge 17:1). Walking before YHWH is living and abiding in His presence, before His “face,” in communion and fellowship. Those who know this sweetness feel the great bitterness of His absence.
The word translated “sighing” signifies “roaring.” The Hebrew word is used to describe a lion roaring. David is not stoic before God as his intense emptiness is set out before YHWH in plain sight. The Lion of Judah is roaring in his affliction like a wounded animal. It is ugly to hear and behold.
That David makes such a loud demonstration is not a lack of faith. The toughest of us may be able to hide our suffering from others but not our God who perceives everything. David cannot hide his agony for our Father knows what you need before you ask him (Mt 6:8). David writes elsewhere:
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
Psalm 139:1–4
Therefore, we need not be ashamed and try to cover ourselves. However, in such circumstances we can be at a loss of words. Our first response is not calm, eloquence but moaning and groaning. God hears and understands this as the language of suffering. Our Lord not only perceives our pain, he hears and understands our longings, before and regardless of our ability to articulate them. He stands ready and able to succor and provide what we need.
Charles Spurgeon observed:
Sorrow and anguish hide themselves from the observation of man, but God spies them out. None more lonely than the broken-hearted sinner, yet he has the Lord for his companion.[1]
In the verses that follow, David takes us deeper into the depths.
David’s Suffering is likened to Death (v 10)
David’s heart is “throbbing,” or being driven to and throw in agitation. His soul cannot be quiet and settled. It is a lost wanderer, a wild horse without a rider or a rudderless ship in a storm. He is being tossed about with no end or purpose. David is exhausted as his strength fails him. His limbs are weak and cannot carry him. His spirit is faint and abandoning his body. The light of his eyes signifies his very life. The windows to the soul are becoming empty. David is dying as his eyes gloss over, cannot perceive and loose contact with the world outside him. This death is physical and spiritual. Oh’ to feel abandoned on the deathbed! How awful death is for those apart from the Lord and more so for those who have tasted the heavenly gift (Heb 6:4). The Lord has no joy in the death of the lost and He feels its pangs. David is a man drowning in sin thrusting forth his hand heavenward to be rescued.
Abandoned by Friends and Family (v 11)
David likens his illness to a plague that drives people away lest they to are afflicted with the contagion. He is treated like a leper, living outside of the camp, unclean and apart from Temple and fellowship. The leper was abhorred and feared. Those who are closest to David, his family and his close brethren, now stand aloof. Those who were near to him while in health, wealth and power are now gone. David is unloved, socially isolated and truly alone. Calvin comments:
In saying that his friends stand away from him, he means, that they cease from performing any of the offices of humanity towards him.[2]
And Spurgeon:
As the women and others of our Lord’s acquaintance from afar gazed on his cross, so a soul wounded for sin sees all mankind as distant spectators, and in the whole crowd finds none to aid. Often relatives hinder seekers after Jesus, oftener still they look on with unconcern, seldom enough do they endeavor to lead the penitent to Jesus.[3]
Has this happened to you? When you are well and able to work and participate in family and social roles and functions you are surrounded by loved ones. Illness and sin are a burden to others. They truly do not want to experience your pain and anguish. While happy to share in your joys they tend to you superficially in your affliction. When you need them the most, family and friends have time to continue in their other joyous relationships but cannot or will not join you in your suffering. They have lives to lead. At least Job’s friends, for all their faults, sat with him for a few days in silent solidarity. The balm of fellowship is replaced with pills, salves and some fleeting words of comfort.
They have healed the wound of my people lightly,
saying, ‘Peace, peace,’
when there is no peace (Je. 8:11)
Is there no balm in Gilead?
Is there no physician there?
Why then has the health of the daughter of my people
not been restored? (Je. 8:22)
We delegate these tasks to professionals: doctors, nurses, social workers, therapists, home aids, pastors and elders rather than joining in faithful solidarity with our loved one. When our friends and family stand afar our Lord is ready to draw neigh. Jesus embraces us in our failures and suffering. As he touched lepers and made them whole, he will touch us likewise. Even our stench will not deter our Lord. As the good physician he enters the sick room, approaches our couch without mask, gown and gloves. He never leaves and he walks out with us, hand in hand, back into the world or into the heavenly Kingdom.
David’s Enemies Circle for an Attack (v 12)
Predators in the wild cull the weak and frail from the herd. Weak and alone, abandoned by his family and friends, David is apart from the protection of the herd. The herd is his family and the family of God. A single rod is easily broken but when bundled is resilient. A coal taken out of the fire soon cools and dies out. Satan is always on the prowl and attacks viscously when we are weak and alone. His minions are vultures circling the dying.
Have you experienced enemies taking advantage of your illness, circumstances and failures? Do they mock you and are they quick to point out your flaws? Do they take advantage of your weakness? When a saint fails the world is quick to declare him a hypocrite rather than recognize him as a poor sinner in need of grace. They delight in our misery, use our flaws to detract from their evil and therein justify their own sin.
David describes this activity as laying snares that will entrap and kill him and with evil speech seek to ruin him. The enemy is obsessed with his downfall as they plot and plan continuously. Meditating on treachery all day contrasts with the righteous man of Psalm 1 who meditates day and night of God’s law. David’s enemies delight in evil whereas the righteous man delights in the things of God. The wicked walk in the way of the ungodly, stand in the way of sinners and sit with the scorners at the gate mocking and passing judgment.
When we, as Christians, suffer this attack we are experiencing what our Lord did on the Cross. His close friends ran away, some family and disciples stood at a distance unable to approach and help. The religious leaders and the rabble cursed and mocked him, yet Jesus not only remained sinless but demonstrated the spirit of forgiveness.
David leaves us with a picture of a man not only drowning but surrounded by sharks who smell blood. He does not need someone to tell him to get out of the water but to dive in and rescue him. No other than our Lord can and will do this.
Lessons for us
David’s illness has disrupted the most intimate of relationships. In order to restore them, David must first seek reconciliation with God. Our vertical relationship defines all our horizontal relationships. Those with our friends and family will not be made right until we are right with God. Satan’s fiery darts, delivered by his minions and our earthly foes, will continue to smart until our Lord quenches them.
How does our Lord help and comfort us? He generally uses his servants, the saints of His Church. He sends them as ministering souls. The teaching of these verses is not only for the one under affliction but for all of God’s people who are called to serve and show His love. Are we willing to answer the call? Are we willing to descend into the pit, dive into the water and meet our brother or sister where they are? Are we willing to lift them up out of the mud by getting under them and letting them stand on our shoulders or cupped hands?
People wantingly gaze aloft for miraculous intervention and are blind to God’s providence working through that which is common. The suffering one misses the grace that God has sent and those around the afflicted gawk mute instead of acting with love and compassion. Stop being like the Apostles whose eyes were affixed upon heaven at Jesus ascension and get to work! You were called to serve the Lord. We are to imitate him. This may mean getting muddy and wet for your brother and sister. In doing this your suffering brethren will not be a curse but a blessing. For as you serve them you serve your Lord. Great will be your reward in heaven and thankful will be your brother. More so, you point to Jesus and bid others to follow. In this way, you are a living testimony, preaching the gospel in word and deed.
Next we shall
see how David hits bottom and begins a turn upward.
[1] C. H. Spurgeon, Psalms, Crossway Classic Commentaries (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1993), 155
[2] Calvin, John. Commentary of the Psalm 38:11
[3] C. H. Spurgeon, Psalms, Crossway Classic Commentaries (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1993), 155–156.
Biblical Perspective 